Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Entering the search for a FWB

Today I completed a profile on an internet "dating" website that also seems to have some number of other persons in similar relationships to mine.  Thus begins my online search for a FWB.

Originally, Jessica and I had discussed meeting up with random strangers in order to have sexual escapades, but after the first time, we both quickly realized that isn't exactly what we're looking for.  All of the best sex I've ever had has been with someone I at least knew for a time before we had sex, even if our friendship was of a non-sexual nature.

There's just a certain level of comfort that comes with knowing the person you're about to shove your cock into. I'm sure sex with a stranger is fun, but is it really worth the hassle and effort of having to find someone new every time I decide I'm going to fool around with someone other than Jessica?  Plus, we both agree that we want the other people we're with to be aware of our situation, and not every woman seems to be ok with that type of arrangement.

So, I created a profile and immediately found myself staring down a list of questions that are part of your profile. These questions are supposed to give others some insight into you.  In those brief few paragraphs, someone else has to decide if they're interested enough in me to contact me.

On top of the challenge that is rolling my entire life into a few paragraphs, I have to make sure I clearly explain my relationship and what I'm looking for.  I don't want some chick sending me a message, and us talking back and forth, only to find out that she's looking for a long term relationship and wants to get married.  But, on the other hand, I don't want to come across as a total sleazeball.

While it's very important for me to find the "with benefits", I'd also like to find someone (or a few people) that satisfies the friends portion as well.  I don't want to date her, not exactly at least.  But I do want to be able to hang out, maybe catch a movie, chat for a bit, etc etc.  That's where you develop that comfort and chemistry that makes the sex not awkward.

So, I finally got the profile filled out, but who knows how others are interpreting it.  I find I am nervous about it, which is funny to me.  What do I have to be nervous about?  I already have a lovely woman who I will spend the rest of my life with that loves me for all that I am.

I think it's mostly because this is new territory to me.  I'm treading into the unknown, and for most of us, that's pretty freaking scary at times.  I'm not scared, however.  Just a bit nervous.  I hope I am able to meet someone I like, someone cool.  I hope it's someone Jessica likes as well.

Perhaps I will find some people to give me some advice on how to attract a female for this type of arrangement.  I'm guessing flashing my cock around isn't going to do it (though it sure brings Jessica running!).

Matter of fact, I tried that on the other day.  But pictures of my cock only earned me responses from guys (which sometimes would be fine, but not what I'm looking for now), prostitutes (seriously ladies, I'm not that hard up I'm going to pay you.  I'm a good looking guy, fun to be around, and not tiny in the endowment, so why would I want to pay?), and bots.  Seems Craigslist just isn't the place to be anymore (though I have met a FWB off there before).  The only real benefit I got out of it was the flashing of my cock, as I do enjoy showing it off to whoever wants to see it.  Would have been nice if anyone that looked at least emailed me to let me know they enjoyed it.

Onwards and upwards, or whatever direction it is that will lead me into a soft and warm pussy.  I'm thinking south by southeast.  That looks like a good direction today.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Intro and Some Thoughts

Welcome to my first post, on my first blog!

So, to give some background, I am the other half of the Kinky Duo.  Some of you may already be familiar with my spouse Jessica, and if not, please check out her blog: My Own Kinky.

As for me, I won't go too much into detail right off the bat, but I am a healthy adult male who enjoys exploring his sexuality.  I've recently began to crossdress, as well as discover my bisexuality.  Part of my self discovery, and Jessica sharing in my discoveries, resulted in us being in an open relationship.  So, I thought I too would do some blogging, so I could share my thoughts here on all sorts of topics, whether my sexuality, our relationship, or anything else that strikes my fancy.

I've never been in an open relationship before, and it's been an interesting experience so far.  I won't pretend we haven't had a few little issues here and there, since it's new to both of us.  Overall, I would say it's been very positive so far though!

I think one of the primary benefits to our arrangement is trust.  For various reasons, both Jessica and I had trust issues with each other prior to our agreement.  One would think that entering into an open relationship would only magnify those issues, but I think the reality is opposite.

Think about it like this:  Before, if she were hanging out with a guy friend, especially if it went late into the night, I would sit at home, staring out the window, thinking to myself "what if she's got his cock in her mouth right now?".  Or, I'd think about her bent over his coffee table, taking a rough pounding.  Naturally, this would upset me.  Not because I didn't think it was hot (I've always been turned on by the idea of her getting fucked by other people and sucking other cocks).  I'd be upset because when she came home finally, I would never know if it actually happened.  She would say no if I asked her, but how would I know that's the truth?  Perhaps if we fully trusted each other I would be able to know, but I'm by nature a person who has a hard time trusting, and we'd both done things to damage each other's trust previously.

So now, we have an open relationship.  If she goes to hang out with a guy friend of hers, I sit home wondering if his cock is in her mouth, or up her ass.  But there's a big difference this time.  Most of the time, she'd tell me before she does anything.  At a minimum, I now know she'll tell me when she gets home, and while she's telling me, I'll be fucking her.  Now, we can both share in the experience, because we both think it's hot.  Hell, maybe she'll text me or call me while she's getting fucked.

The point is, I have no reason not to trust her now, because she has no reason to lie to me about it.  She knows it would turn me on if I find out she was sucking her friend off.  She knows I wouldn't have a problem with it, and she knows that it'll just provide fuel for our own sexual fires.

On the other side, having that freedom is pretty amazing.  Knowing I can fuck someone, or suck someone off, or whatever else I want, and she'll not only be accepting, but will enjoy and get turned on by it, is very liberating.  Why should I be jealous any more of what she does, when I'm free to do the same thing?  I can flirt, and sext, and talk dirty with anyone I want, any time I want, anywhere I want.  It's the ultimate freedom.

People make jokes and say "Oh man, you're getting married, only one pussy for the rest of your life!".  They say that because they think that's the biggest drawback to being in a relationship.  But in ours, that doesn't apply.  I can walk down the street, holding Jessica's hand, and ogle any hot chick I see.  I've turned to her and said "I'd love to fuck her", and she didn't smack me, didn't roll her eyes, didn't get upset.  You know what she did?  She grinned and said "I'd love to see that!".

Find me another guy that wouldn't love that response and I'll find you a liar.